It's a bit sad being a celebrity and having to endorse laughable products and services. Can you imagine these guys actually using chyavanprash, ballpoint pens or prickly heat talcum powder? Wouldn't it be nice if they endorsed things they swore by? So here goes some things celebrities should really be endorsing: &gt;&gt;Doubleu2013sided tape: The 2mm line that sticks by celebs and deprives the paparazzi of sartorial slip-ups as celeb du00e9colletages and hemlines defy all laws of physics. &gt;&gt;Sunglasses: Often considered the cheap quick-fix to instant glamour (just put on a bumblebee-shaped pair and watch your average timid self transform into a mysterious creature instantly). These have been faithful celeb accessories through success, scandal, tragedy, domestic violence, drunken brawls and bad Eighties fashion. &gt;&gt;Private security agencies: There is a reason why our building guards look so apathetic. The burly guys are busy protecting skimpily clad starlets who can simulate an orgy on screen, but will wilt at a catcall. &gt;&gt;Mystery whiteners: Have you noticed that 'dusky' celebs get progressively lighter with each success? Can't be the miracle of OTC fairness creams, which haven't worked on my maid despite a decade long application. Can celebs do this fairness-crazy country a favour and reveal the true melanin workersu00a0... oops miracle workers? <img alt="" src="/imagedata/2009/jul/selling.jpg" border="0" />u00a0 Shady business: "Sunglasses have been faithful celeb accessories through success, scandal, tragedy, domestic violence, drunken brawls and bad Eighties fashion," says the writer &gt;&gt;Surgical tool kit: They pump up to eight-packs, yoga their way into a bikini while we poor souls wonder why we merely reduce from a large suet pudding to a smaller one. Please let us in on the Real McCoys viz. leptin injections, non-surgical liposuction, Botox and the whole bullshit factory!

It's a bit sad being a celebrity and having to endorse laughable products and services

Selling points

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