“Uhm, Lobo Lobo, any reason why you’re dressed with this coloured headgear?”
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Lobo Lobo, my TV cable technician, came over with a coloured bandana around his head.
“Uhm, Lobo Lobo, any reason why you’re dressed with this coloured headgear?”
“See Dikuna men, let me begin at de very begniing — you see, you may have read, dat one legend fellow, dat great singer, wassisname, dat uhm AreeyJeet Singhing, sorry Arreyjeet Singh…he has retired from dat wochyoucall, ya playback singhing, so dat means I’m tinking if he wont Singh anymoe for dat, dem movies… dat lip syncing dat Kishore Kumaaa, and Rafi saab and all dese peeupls, de late great KK and all dese peepuls Sonu Nigam and all, he is retiring from dat only, den I can replace him.”
“Yes, by all those in the Hindi music singing business, he was considered number 1.”
“Yes men, Dikuna, evin I read de papers, he is saying he will focus, on his live shows and he wants to direct… and of cuss produce indie music,” Lobo Lobo said.
“What is your interest in both Arijt Singh as well as Hindi music playback singing?”
“Becoz Dikuna men, in my free time, you see, I am a singer men, I’m toh outshtanding, but I have never got de brakes, I toh feel na, if I was given de chances, I am in de same class as Arijit.”
“Lobo Lobo, if you think you’re in the same league as him, have you sung for any movies?”
‘Yes men, I have lent my golden voice for one two Goan films — one title is ‘Claudia at Calangute’ and de secind is de Hindi version of Durandhar called ‘Donaldhar.”
“What is your style Lobo Lobo, do you have a speciality?”
“Pleese Dikuna men, don’t refer me to as Lobo Lobo, I am a big artiste” in de Konkani and Portugese music circles, I am referred to as ‘Smokin’ Lobo’?”
“So you’re a big artiste, where?”
“In Goa men, I have become a sensation wid my own unique rendition of music, I am an OG, I have begun one style of music called ‘Konkanzee’; it’s a combo of Konkani style Fados along with African beats.”
“So sing me one of your own compositions,” I asked fascinated.
“Okay… so one song is called ‘Ozibeesa” — here goes,
Ozibeesa… Ozibeesa
Charsobeesa… Charsobeesa.
Chimpanseesa…. by the sea sa
Mapuseesa, by the see sa…
I’m Smokin’ Lobo, you are SoBo I am NoBo
Maka naka go, maka naka go
Do re mi faso lati do…
Do do do da da da da
All I want to say to you
Fomo fomo, fomo shots please
Fomo shots of feni
Feni maka de, Goenchi feni
Maka zai, maka zai,
Wifi, hifi, high rise, high five
Yetha, have some feta
aao getha, David Guetta
Can I borrow some ‘soro’
Call me Zorro, don’t worro, be happo
Yetha, feta, David Guetta
Write me a leta
Penguin,
Tu kaha, going where?
Penguin, goin’ to Panjim
Penguin Penguin going to Penguin
Bongo, Congo, Chorizo, Balchao
mera gaon,
Trump, chump,
MAGA naka go, Baga maka go
Do re mi faaso lat ti do
Do a dear, oh dear, have no fear
Durandhar, mast kalandar
Illo illo illo soro piyelom
Be at home, with your Penguin
In Vanguinim
And Betim, and Palolem, and Candolim
With your Penguin,
Mhaka ani mhajo Penguin
Lalalalalal Baga
Lalalallalla Baga
Ozibeesa Ozibeesa
Charsobeesa
“Wow Lobo Lobo, sorry Smokin’ Lobo, that is some song,” I said.
“Yes men, it was composed entirely by me, I’m trying to sell it to eider Salim Sulaiman or Shankar Ehsaan and Loy men — I have composed anudder masterpiece and wish to sing it to one of de composers for a superhero desi fillum, dat wochyoucall Marvel Universe… in my unique Konkanzee style, here goes,
Spidermen, Supermen, Batmen, Aquamen
What men, how men, show men
Chhe men
Iron men, Steel men, Bronze men, Brass men
Go men, slow men, fast men, stop men
Oh men, fly troo de air
Super power
Poi, poha, pao, super pao
Super power
Yeah yeah yeah men
Spidermen, Supermen, Batmen, Aquamen
What men, how men, show men
Chhe men, Chow mein
Ciao men.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, filmmaker and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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