Only someone who's even briefly worked in a tabloid will empathise with what I'm about to narrate. The rest can continue to believe 'paid media' — as if there should be any profession left unpaid — comprises only a group of sold-out louts, lazing around in laps of the mighty.

The job can get quite tough you see, especially a few hours before a newspaper goes to bed (parlance for print) when every story slotted for the front page has freakishly fallen through. What do you do in such an extremely uncommon situation?