To a man who saw with child's eyes

It was January 24 2019 a few days before his last birthday on this planet My phone rang displaying his beatific cherub face and I knew Ram Ray was back in BangkokI first met Ram in Bangkok in 1998 mdash and then several times again Bangkok was his favourite city And like everything else in Rams life this visit too was meticulously planned always in the same sequence I would receive a message asking if I could recommend any decent serviced apartments and new restaurants I would send him a list And then as always Ram would ignore all the correspondence and enjoy Bangkok as he always had whimsicallyOne of those days feeling a little out of sorts he visited a doctor who performed various checks requiring unfortunately several long hours To Ram it was almost intolerable exacerbated by the fact that none of the Thai nurses around him seemed to understand either his English or BengaliI only remember him asking right in the middle of a test Can we go back to Kolkata nowMany of todays advertising industry puppies and hounds would not have heard of Ram Ray If they had they would not understand why he was so beloved and yet so much larger than life to those who knew him I have known him for over three decades and yet have no memory of how he came into my life mdashor stayed becoming close friend confidante fellow traveller and often mentorI remember sharing a lift with him in my early 30s when he was already a board member of J Walter Thompson the advertising agency he led most of his life in Mumbai Kolkata Chennai San Francisco and elsewhere The lift was barely big enough for the two of us He did not know me and back then I only knew that he was considered a legendThree decades later now I know what made Ram unrepeatableIn a world where our strings are pulled daily by liars and manipulators where subversion distortion and mindgames permeate political life business religion and daily discourse Ram Ray had a quality rarely found today integritySamit Sinha a colleague of Rams faced a dilemma once One of his biggest clients had made a pass at an agency employee What was the right thing to do mdash stand up for the employee and sack the client or just pretend all was well Rams advice to Samit was succinct Business is important But human dignity is more importantAjit Varma who worked with Ram when he was breathing life back into Bates Clarion advertising remembers a meeting with a client who was gaming them while having decided to shift his business elsewhere When the truth suddenly dawned on Ram he brought his two large hands down on the table with a loud bang so forceful that the table jumped and all conversation ended Ram stood up wished the client good day and left with his teamThat level of truthtelling requires both the ability to see what is going on and then to call it out Its the honesty of the child who sees the emperors nudity There was a moment when I realised that that was what made Ram specialHe had never lost touch with the child withinHe paid attention like a child fascinated by everything I never saw him in a rush or impatient He moved through life with the unhurried playfulness of a cruising dolphin He loved typography and dove deep into its details The science and lore of food wines and cheeses riveted him as did culture heritage and the greatness of others He loved detail on everything as much as he could getWhen I wrote my first novel Ram hosted an event for me at the Bengal Club But what moved me was the muralsized poster at the entrance meticulously designed by Ram himself down to the typographyIn 2011 Ram was inducted into the Advertising Hall of Fame and again in 2013 by the Advertising Club CalcuttaRam passed away on November 12 2019 His daughter Rashi told me I had been the last of his close friends to have seen him alive even though he had stayed in touch with everyone else through his iPhone After returning from Bangkok he had become more private spending time with his family and a few close friendsOriginal to the end Ram had given clear instructions that he was to be buried not cremated The same evening his body was taken to Kolkatas Topsia Hindu Burial Ground where he rests nowIn Hinduism only babies children and saints believed to be pure and unattached to their bodies are allowed to be buried My dearest friend Ram who never stopped seeing the world through a childs eyes is at peace now in a graveyard surrounded by childrenHere viewed from there C Y Gopinath in Bangkok throws unique light and shadows on Mumbai the city that raised him You can reach him at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individuals and dont represent those of the paperCatch up on all the latest Crime National International and Hatke news here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates