So, there is much tamasha going on in our country. Mainly because the national food of India — the Maggi noodle — is about to be banned. No more will you able to rip open a packet for your hungry kid. Now it is just RIP Maggi. One angry nationalist chastised me, “How dare you call a Swiss eatable India’s national food, shame on you. Shame!”

My argument — have you heard of hapless jawans comforting themselves on the Siachen border, eating ‘dholkas? Or gorging on ‘medu wadas’ ? No, for years it’s been a warm dish of Maggi noodles, prepared in two minutes. Protecting our soldiers from the cold and the Chinese. (Of course it’s another thing that the Indian army are pulling Nestlé’s stocks from their canteen stores, because believe it or not, they’re concerned about the lead content in the food. I mean, explain to me, are our troops more concerned by the lead content in food or the lead being fired onto them by the marauding Pakistanis. But that’s another issue). One poor Uttarakhand organic farmer told me, after a 14-hour day slogging under the hot sun, all he wants to come home to, is his ‘short cut’ Maggi saag, and rotis, not ‘daal chawaal’ that takes hours to prepare.