Kashmiri student in Mumbai: Will I hear my father's voice on Eid?

Five hours before PM Narendra Modis address to the nation on Thursday in which he defended his decision on Kashmir 23yearold Zooni S name changed was a bundle of nerves Halfsmiling at us when we meet her at a suburban cafeacute it is hard to tell what the state of her mind is She spells it out I am upset I am disturbedZooni a Kashmiri Muslim from Srinagar currently pursuing BTech at a city college has spent the last four days twiddling her thumbs while staring at the phone in the hope that baba will call Sitting across her we see her take halting sips of the peach iced tea as she tries redialling the JampK helpline numbers 94190282429419028251mdashtweeted on Thursday morning by District Magistrate of Kashmir Shahid Choudharymdashwhich she sourced from Instagram only earlier in the day Both lines are busy she dismally informsDespite all the negativity coming her way since the BJPruled Centre sweepingly announced that it was revoking Article 370 in JampK Zooni who last heard from her father on Sunday August 4 says she will speak though anonymously about the anxiety of being cut off from her family Everyone around me is celebrating she says But what difference does it make to me The only thing that matters right now is family her father twin sister and ailing dadi live in Srinagar I lost my mum three years ago I cant lose anyone elseThe lull before the stormWhile Mumbai was drenched and the Mithi River threatened to alarmingly rise on Sunday Srinagarmdashnearly 2200 km awaymdashwas unnervingly calm It had been two days since the JampK administration had called off the annual Amarnath yatra in view of intelligence inputs of terror threats Pilgrims and tourists had been advised to leave almost immediatelyBut Zooni a scholarship student who lives in a city hostel along with other students from the former state remembers her baba and sister being unaffected by the happenings around them Because of the heavy rain I was holed up in the hostel for most part of the day and was constantly tracking news about the Valley on the web While browsing through Instagram I learnt that additional paramilitary troops had been deployed in several parts of Srinagar Of course we have lived through many curfews in one lifetime but this felt differentEarly in the evening she had a brief conversation with her sister who told her that there was nothing to worry about Her father a retired educational official in the government was out playing golf with his friends I insisted that she get me to speak with him Finally around 9 pm her father who had just returned home called Because dad is a principal with a school run by an NGO he had received a government advisory asking schools to remain shut as a curfew was most likely to be imposed He told me that they had stocked enough rice and lentils at home but this was not anything serious After that call I did feel better However an hour later when her father unexpectedly called again and said that he was transferring money into her bank account for her brother who is pursuing his engineering in Chennai and her in case this is the last time I speak with you Zooni got alarmed I was restless after that and couldnt sleep After tossing and turning in bed around 3 am Zooni decided that she should try and call her baba once again to check on him By then the phone lines were downGrowing up in the ValleyI am a curfew child says Zooni when talking about life in the Valley The day I was born in 1996 there was curfew in Srinagar My mum had to go through several checkpoints before she could make it to the hospital She always reminded me about that incident She said You were born during curfew You will live through anythingZooni admits to having a secure childhoodmdashboth her parents were professors in colleges and because they taught at some of the best institutes in Srinagar they ensured their kids were also admitted to elite schools in the Valley But that does not mean our parents could shield us from the unrest outside My mum hailed from Eidgah which is in Downtown Srinagar and we lived in the newlydeveloped part of the city Eidgah was infamous for protests the youth there are fierce and fearless Even when we experienced the floods of 2014 it was the people from there who went out of their way to rescue families in other parts of the city So every time we visited Eidgah we were privy to scenes of unrestHer first disturbing encounter in conflictridden Kashmir was when she was around eight years old There was a crackdown and our school bus was stopped I remember a CRPF jawan with a gun in hand entering inside When I saw him for the first time I did not know whether he was there to protect us or attack us All of us were terrified It was only after I went back home and my parents explained the situation to me that I knew they were there for our securityThe Kashmir unrest of 2010 however affected Zooni in many ways The violent protests and riots in the Valley which began in June 2010 after the Indian Army claimed to have killed three Pakistani infiltrators resulted in 112 deaths including of an 11yearold boy This boy could have been me she says Five years later Zooni egged on by her mum decided to apply for a scholarship for students from JampK My dad was apprehensive about sending his kids outside Srinagar But when my mum who was diabetic passed away after suffering a heart attack dad suddenly changed his mind He didnt want me to go to Delhi though He said Go to Mumbai people there will be nice to you Today I know whyA week of restlessnessOn Monday Zooni who had barely slept through the night woke up around 11 am Colleges and schools were shut due to rain Zooni tried calling home again but couldnt get through An hour later while browsing through Twitter she realised that her feed was bursting with tweets about Naya Kashmir and Azad Kashmir Only halfanhour earlier Union Home Minister Amit Shah had announced the proposal to revoke Article 370 and Article 35A which conferred special status to JampK Shah had gone on to declare that JampK would be reorganisedmdashLadakh would be a Union Territory without an assembly and JampK another but with an assembly I immediately called up my brother he is two years younger to her who had come out of an examination He was shocked says Zooni But baba had always seen this comingIn June when she was home for vacation Zooni remembers having a discussion with her father about Article 370 He said If and when it happens the Article is revoked it is definitely going to affect the people of Kashmirmdashwhether its going to affect us in a good way or bad one cant say We have to be hopefulOn Tuesday when the bill to bifurcate JampK was passed in the Lok Sabha Zooni knew there was no going back In Kashmir we are all aware of Article 370 and 35A and the fact that it allows us special privileges I dont think I ever had a problem with it being revoked I have a problem with how it was done Kashmir is as much anyone elses as it is mine And I am an Indian just like any other Indian in the country Why this stepmotherly treatmentAs a Kashmiri Muslim Zooni and a few others at her hostel have also been at the receiving end of a lot of hate from Hindu Kashmiri girls One of my college mates spoke out against the governments decision and the girls in the hostel ganged up against her They started dredging up the humiliation meted out to Kashmiri Pandits They had turned against us I was quite affected by the chain of events If I could only speak to baba once hed have calmed me downThe first two days were tough Each time I picked up the phone I tried calling baba I was also worried about dadi who is paralysed waist down and needs medicines and constant monitoring In case of an emergency it would have been difficult to get her out of home she says All her messages to her father have gone unanswered The messages appear to have been delivered but I hope baba is reading themAfter zero contact with her family for over 48 hours on Wednesday Zooni got desperate and even contemplated going back home I reached out to a friend in Jammu as phone lines are working there She too had no clue about her family in Srinagar but advised against coming back she says I didnt go to college that day because I lacked the will Babas call was the first thing I received in the morning And now I dont even know if he is doing fine Zooni was going to be travelling back home for Eid which is on Monday Now I want to hear his voice on EidA few hours before we met on Thursday Zooni chanced upon an Instagram handle that shared helpline numbers But it proved unhelpful That same day a college friend who is from Nagpur told her that her family is now planning to buy land in Kashmir This is what everyone has reduced the developments to Everyone wants land but what about the people of Kashmir But for every naysayer there have been 10 others rallying around her I have been getting incredible support from friends in the cityAn hour before Modis Thursday speech in which he spoke about how Article 370 and Article 35A gave only separatism nepotism and corruption and how its now the right time for people of JampK to show their capability to the world we received a text from Zooni Received a call from my cousin sister in Hyderabad Her uncle works in the police department and she called from his satellite phone She says everyone in her locality is safeZooni whose family lives around 10 km from her cousins home was still to get details of her ownSilence continuesShe spent Friday and Saturday with a friend from Srinagar who works in Mumbai Weve been keeping ourselves updated through social media I dont think the media is showing the true picture While news channels claimed that people were allowed to go for Friday prayers videos on Instagram showed that many were barred from entering mosques On Friday there were reports of people defying curfew to stage a largescale protest in Srinagar The following day restrictions were said to have been eased in Kashmir At the time of going to press Zooni had still not been able to establish contact with her family and it had already been six days With every day that passes my frustration and fears are growingCatch up on all the latest Crime National International and Hatke news here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates