I don’t know how to approach someone I like without making a fool of myself. I think he knows I am interested in him because he has caught me looking at him a few times. We have a few common friends, but I have never been introduced to him properly so I can’t just go up to him and ask him out. I have been thinking about asking one of my friends to tell him how I feel, but that also makes me feel a little immature. We live in the same locality and run into each other often, but I don’t know how to initiate a conversation without coming across as hopelessly infatuated. I want him to think of me as a confident, mature woman, and acting like a teenager will ruin that. How should I do this?
Maturity is about recognising that there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to someone and introducing yourself. You’re not acting like a teenager by letting someone know how you feel. You don’t have to talk about your feelings because all you’re trying to do is get to know someone new. Simply think of this as an interesting person you would like to get to know. If he doesn’t respond in a positive manner, that is also valuable information because it tells you more about the kind of person he is and inadvertently protects you from making a mistake. This doesn’t have to be an anxiety-ridden exercise if you put things in the right perspective. Say hello, initiate conversation, allow it to unfold, and then ask him out for coffee. If things don’t happen in this order, everything that does will help you figure out whether this is someone you want in your life or not. You have nothing to lose at this point, so use that to your advantage and try worrying a little less about how you may come across. Remember that for some people, directness and the ability to communicate are looked upon as virtues, not as failings.

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