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Dr love with Mid-Day: Don’t want my friend to date him!

Your fiance has divulged something that may be true but doesn’t change the fact that she is with you

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Illustration/Uday Mohite

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am confused about a guy I went on a few dates with because he eventually said he wasn’t interested in me even though I liked him. He said we weren’t compatible and I accepted that and forgot about it, until I found out that one of my friends has been on a few dates with him. I don’t want her to date him because I think it will make things awkward between us, but I don’t know what to say to her because she will think I’m just being jealous of her. This will create some unnecessary issues between us, and I don’t know what to do. It’s possible that they may not get into a relationship either, but until I know anything about that, I want to try and prevent anything from affecting my friendship. What should I do?
If this is a friend you care about, and a friendship you believe in, nothing should stop you from having an honest conversation about your fears. Awkwardness depends upon how people in any relationship navigate change, and the possibility of your friend dating this person will certainly introduce a new element that will have to be managed. It doesn’t have to have an adverse impact on your friendship if you can be an adult about it and tell your friend why it bothers you. There may be all kinds of similar challenges in the future, and your focus should be on strengthening these bonds, which won’t happen without trust and the ability to open up about how you’re feeling.

My fiance recently told me that her ex-boyfriend was a kinder person than I am, and I don’t know how to react to that. It’s not as if she is breaking up with me, but I don’t know if this means she feels as if she settled for someone worse. Is this a red flag?
Your fiance has divulged something that may be true but doesn’t change the fact that she is with you. Why assume the worst?

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