A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me that he wanted us to be together forever. We have been dating for a couple of years, so I wasn’t surprised, but it still felt like a strong comment to make because we had never discussed a future together. We didn’t make any commitment, but I just accepted what he said and assumed we would formalise our relationship and get engaged at some point over the coming year or so. Then, over the weekend, he told me that this relationship wasn’t working. He also said he wanted to break up. I can’t even begin to understand how he has changed his mind in such a radical manner in such a short time. I am too upset to ask for an explanation, and I feel betrayed because he shouldn’t have said those things if he thought we were in a relationship that wasn’t steady. I haven’t spoken to him since he told me this and don’t feel like having a conversation. Should I meet him and ask him to reconsider or assume this is beyond saving?
If he doesn’t want you in his life and isn’t respectful enough to stand by his own words, ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by asking for an explanation or trying to go back to how things were. He can end this if it isn’t working, of course, but to do it in this manner after saying what he said a while ago is cruel and betrays a lack of responsibility. Maybe he will change his mind and decide to give this another chance, but that shouldn’t happen without an acknowledgement of what he has done, and an explanation that makes sense to you. You’re right to feel hurt and betrayed but not having a conversation doesn’t solve anything. It may be better to talk about what has occurred because his response will give you a better idea of whether this can be saved or, more importantly, whether it is worth saving at all.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com