I am a 25-year-old in a relationship with someone who is great for me, but who will leave me because of how insecure I am. This happens time and again, and I have never been able to hold on to a relationship for more than six or seven months ever. I know it’s a problem and I tell myself every time that it won’t happen again, but it does because I start questioning everything and feel as if I am not good enough to be with the person I happen to be with. I don’t know where this comes from and I don’t feel like speaking to a counsellor or therapist to figure out if there is some deep-seated issue I am unaware about. Is there anything I can do to stop these insecurities from ruining every relationship I get into?
You’re self-aware, which is a great thing because it points to an ability to work on what you perceive are problems hampering your personal growth. It’s okay to have insecurities and it may sometimes take a long time before you can identify or work on what these are. If speaking to a professional isn’t an option, all you can do is work on yourself by trying to be honest about what you’re feeling and why. Try keeping a journal where you write about something that’s bothering you. Write about the person you’re in a relationship with and try looking at the positive aspects of what you enjoy doing together. If you can start to look at the big picture, and figure out why you are with someone, as well as why you think the person is with you, there may be some clarity. It may also help to open up with your partner because someone with empathy can help you a lot more than you think. If your partner understands you better, he may be able to allay a lot of your fears, as well as help you work on things that are holding you back.

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