Dr Love with Mid-Day: Why does my girlfriend not listen to me!

When I tell my girlfriend not to do something, she does it on purpose as if to make a point about her independence. I don’t know how to manage this behaviour.
This isn’t about independence as much as it is about you and your girlfriend trying to find a dynamic that makes you both feel like equals. Try asking her how she feels about that instead of issuing orders.

My girlfriend and I ended our relationship after two years and I recently found out that she has gone back to her ex. I don’t have a problem with her being in another relationship, but this has affected my confidence because she kept saying that her ex was a horrible person. If she has chosen him over me, I don’t know if this makes me a worse boyfriend. We had a lot of disagreements, but her choosing to do this makes me question everything about our relationship and I don’t know how to manage my feelings. Should I speak to her and ask for an explanation? It may help me process why our relationship went wrong and help me with anyone I meet with in the future.
You can always try asking your ex for an explanation if you think it will help in some way, but she has no obligation to offer you one. The fact remains that you both arrived at a mutual decision to end your relationship, and nothing prevents her from dating anyone she chooses to, whatever her reasons may be. You should also try separating this relationship from any you may have in the future because people are different and no relationship can follow a template. If you want to work on yourself, do so by all means, but only when you think you are with someone you can be honest with. Evolving in a relationship is the best thing, but it can only happen when there is openness, mutual trust, and the belief that your partner wants you to be a better person.