The easiest way to figure out what those signals are is to meet this person and confront them
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I recently went on a holiday, and he proposed to me. I told him I needed time because we have been together for two years, but one of those was long-distance as he was working in another city. He said he understood but has been putting a lot of pressure on me to give him an answer. I want to think about it and do believe we may be able to make a lifelong commitment, but I also want to take my time to understand him a little better. We communicate a lot and also have a good idea of each other’s expectations, but that isn’t all I am looking at. I want to get to know his family better, and don’t because I have only met them three times or so. He says this isn’t important and that I will know them better when we are engaged, but it’s not enough for me. Am I being too difficult or picky?
No one can define what picky or difficult means for someone else because it’s your life on the line, and no one else’s. He is entitled to propose to you right now because he has no unresolved issues that stand in his way. You are as entitled to take your time because choosing to spend your life with someone isn’t as easy a decision as deciding what movie to watch over the weekend. If you want to spend time with his family, he should understand and respect that. It’s a sign of how much he is willing to accommodate your wishes if he genuinely wants you in his life.
Should I go on a date with someone who always gives me mixed signals? I don’t want to waste my time.
The easiest way to figure out what those signals are is to meet this person and confront them. That way, if you know this isn’t working, you won’t have to waste any more time. If you’re not comfortable, you simply don’t have to go.
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