You can ask her if this is what she means or, if her explanation doesn’t work, insist on one that helps you understand her perspective. Also, if you want some commitment, have you expressed your desire for one?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months, and he has yet to introduce me to his friends as his girlfriend. He says this is something casual and wants to keep it that way, but I don’t think there is anything casual about it. To be fair, he said this was the arrangement when we began dating and I agreed but, over time, it feels like a solid relationship that he won’t acknowledge. I can’t argue about this because I agreed to it and he says we can end it if this doesn’t work, but I think he is wilfully denying how he feels or what this relationship is like and I don’t know how to get him to accept that he’s wrong. We can be a great couple if he just accepts me as his girlfriend, but he refuses to do it. What should I do?
You should call him on his bluff and end this relationship because it is disrespectful to you and not meeting your expectations. Relationships evolve and grow stronger, so holding you to what you agreed upon is irrational. If you feel strongly about this and he doesn’t, it’s not a relationship because your individual expectations are not being met. If he comes to realize that you are of importance in his life, he will reach out. If he doesn’t, you may be sad, but you will also know that you have made the right decision. No one should be forced into being in a relationship.
Whenever I ask my girlfriend to move in with me, I get all kinds of excuses saying it’s too soon. We have been together for three years, so I don’t know what she means. Is this a sign that we are not heading towards a long commitment?
You can ask her if this is what she means or, if her explanation doesn’t work, insist on one that helps you understand her perspective. Also, if you want some commitment, have you expressed your desire for one?
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