Technology: The real screen saver

When Divya Nair a banker moved to India from Glasgow she not just left her old job her close friends and her apartment back there mdash but she also left a piece of her heart mdash the man she loved She was apprehensive about how the relationship would work in a situation where both were living in two continents However soon she recognised that living in the 21st century has its perks Technological developments are playing a major role in getting people closer and enabling staying in touch a lot easier than before ldquoI donrsquot know what I would have done if I didnrsquot have FaceTime an app that makes video calls over WiFi from your iPhone iPad iPod touch or Mac to someone elsersquos It helps me see him whenever I want which sometimes helps me forget that he is not in the same countryrdquo shares Nair Itrsquos an appy world The 26yearold is not alone Innumerable people have benefited from a number of apps and tools like Skype Viber Whatsapp WeChat and more by being able to connect with their loved ones on a regular basis Gone are the days when the only option available to connect with an overseas friend or relative was either via writing a letter or making an ISD call While letters would take ages to reach an ISD call was anu00a0expensive affair However technological developments have simplified lives to a great extent for people who wish to be in constant touch with someone abroad ldquoMy boyfriend is in Australia and I usually depend on Whatsapp and Viber for our conversations While Whatsapp facilitates texting and sending pictures and videos I use Viber to make voice calls The best part of all this is that it is very economical All you have to pay for is the Internet which is not much so itrsquos a big conveniencerdquo declares Delhibased Purnima Gureja who works with au00a0private firm Skypersquos the limit While Gureja mainly employs Viber and Whatsapp for her use Skype is reserved for days when she wants to see her friend ldquoI call it the Skype date Since we canrsquot meet living in two countries we Skype every 34 days and call it a date With that facility I can see him and itrsquos as good as sitting across a table with himrdquo she asserts And for people who donrsquot prefer the video chat medium other options are available as well like Kusumita Das a media professional uses Jumblocom a service that helps you call any mobile or landline at low rates to speak to her fianceacute who is currently in Japan ldquoI talk with my fianceacute every day using Jumblocom Itrsquos cheap and costs just 60 paise a minute The best thing about this service is the person you are calling doesnrsquot need to be connected to the Internet You can call any mobile phone number or landlinerdquoshe informs The elderly are increasing adopting the technology as an easy and economical medium to connect with loved ones Everyone can be techsavvy Couples are not the only ones who have been successful in realising the worth of technology when it comes to being an aid in relationships It is also driving people to learn the nuances of Internet for the need of being connected The trend has been particularly noticed amongu00a0elderly citizens Dr Narendra Mokashi was grateful to Skype when he got to know that his daughter who is studying in Libya has fractured her leg ldquoIf we didnrsquot know how to operate Skype we wouldnrsquot have been able to see her in that state By seeing us on video chat she felt good and even we were relievedrdquo he reveals The 71yearold dentist was never technologysavvy But just to be able to connect with his daughter on a regular basis he learnt to use the service of Skype ldquoI Skype with my daughter twice a week for at least an hour Itrsquos an excellent medium Since she is also doing her dentistry sometimes we even discuss our casesu00a0on Skyperdquo This only reiterates what an International report titled The Strength of Internet Ties authored by Barry Wellman Jeffrey Boase John B Horrigan and Lee Rainie had revealed in 2006 ldquoRather than supplanting contact with others the Internet fits into peoplersquos lives and makes it easier to stay in touchrdquo Maybe itrsquos time to look at technological developments and the Internet as not something that is a world filled with geeks and Googleheads but an avenue to helpu00a0build relationships Gaming helps too gtgt Technology has also made it possible to ensure that the fun factor doesnrsquot die in a long distance relationship Challenge your partnerrsquos intellect with games like Scramble and QuizCross driving skills with Need For Pursuit or beat each other on Monopoly or Uno To keep track on how you are doing overall or to remember important dates take help of apps like Kahnoodle Most of these games are available for free on Android as well as iOs platform How to bridge the gap Like any other relationship the foundations of a long distance relationship are the same mdash trust communication and knowing your expectations from the relationship The difference being that a long distance requires more coordination to ensure that basic things donrsquot change Therersquos no guarantee it will work forever but you can keep a few things in mind while in a long distance relationship Be aware of your expectations You should know what you are committing to before making it Are you in it for a long time How long do you think you can continue with this Talk to each other about your expectations from the relationship before you take the plunge u00a0 Trust is the key Before you decide on a long distance relationship itrsquos important to know whether or not you can trust your partner You canrsquot be grilling your partner with all sorts of questions because heshe went to a party with some friends of opposite sex The same holds true with parents and children toou00a0 u00a0 Creativity matters After a point long distance phone calls and video calls may become boring If you end up talking about the same things every day you will soon start hating each other Itrsquos important to spice up talk by perhaps watching a film together and chattingu00a0 u00a0 Avoid a guilt trip Itrsquos not easy being away from your loved ones but when you say ldquoI miss yourdquo avoid making the other person feel guilty for being away from you Do not bring it up such that it pressurises the other person u00a0 Donrsquot be jealous Once away from your partner you will be looking for new friends and ways to fill in the social void in your life You canrsquot be jealous of your partnerrsquos social life You have to give the other person space and make your own u00a0 Coordinate To ensure that it runs smoothly learn to coordinate each other mdash what is the time when you two can talk how long can you talk for and so on mdash Ameeta Sanghavi Shah Integrated Psychotherapist and Mind Coachu00a0