<img style="float: left;" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/images/2022/feb/Rahul-op_e.jpg" alt="Rahul Da Cunha" width="200" height="69" />Lobo Lobo came over wearing a helmet, a war helmet to be precise.
&ldquo;Uhm hello, Lobo Lobo&hellip; you wanna tell me?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Yes, yes Dikuna men, you want to know why I&rsquo;m wearing dis on my head, na? Let me explain&hellip; it is a symbolic gesture&hellip; I am standing wid de peepul of Youkraine&hellip; dis damn Putin-Shootin fellow is invading dere country&hellip; neider dat Younited Nations or NATO-SHATO are toh objecting, so bindaas he&rsquo;s going forward march&hellip; wot he tinks of &rsquo;imself, chhe? &rsquo;is mummy should put &rsquo;im over &rsquo;er knee and give &rsquo;im a good trashing men, bleddy fallow, wot he tinks&hellip; his pop owns Youkraine or sumting?&rdquo;
There were fumes emanating out of my cable TV guy&rsquo;s ears. However, I sensed there was something deeper that seemed to be troubling Lobo Lobo.
&ldquo;Uhm Theo&hellip; you seem unduly perturbed.&rdquo;
&ldquo;You tink dis Russia attacking Youkraine is a small matter?&rdquo; he challenged.&nbsp;
&ldquo;No&hellip; I&rsquo;m not suggesting&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Okay, okay Mr Rahul&hellip; I hate war men&hellip; okay&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;So do we all, Lobo Lobo&hellip; who is in favour of such conflicts?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Wot you know about war, men&hellip; tell to me? &rsquo;ave you ever experienced it, first hand?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Yes&hellip; in 1971&hellip; the Indo-Pak war, I was nine years old&hellip; hiding as the planes flew over.&rdquo;
&ldquo;You tink because wen de Pak and us &rsquo;ad dat panga in 1971, dat was war? You did wot men, you were hiding during dose air strikes, your parents put black chart paper on de window frames.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Yes exactly&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Was dere bombing outside your &rsquo;ouse, Dikuna men?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Uhm no&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Were dere soldiers, wid machine guns&hellip; firing?&rdquo;
&ldquo;I can&rsquo;t say that there were.&rdquo;
&ldquo;You saw big big wochyoucall, tanks rolling around in de streets outside&hellip;?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Now that you mention it..uhm no.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Did you observe buildings just collapsing and people dying?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Uh&hellip; definitely no!&rdquo;
&ldquo;Den you now nutting about war, got it Dikuna men&hellip; you know nutting!&rdquo;
I waited as Lobo Lobo paused to reload.
&ldquo;Bossie, to be born in a nation, where from de time you are a baby, all trough teenager hood, you &rsquo;ave to hide, you live in a war torn country. No joke men, soldiers in dat camouflaged outfit are parading outside your &rsquo;ouse, wid big big guns! Suddenly dere can be attacks bot on de land and in de air.&rdquo;
My next few words were carefully chosen.
&ldquo;Lobo Lobo&hellip; uhm&hellip; your experience of war seems to be first hand.&rdquo;
&ldquo;Dikuna men, I tell you sumting, I&rsquo;ve never tolded anyone befoe, even now, wen a Diwali bomb goes off, or, you know, when a car backfires, I toh get a solid &lsquo;jhatka&rsquo;... it&rsquo;s an instinct&hellip; I just recoil men, it reminds me of dose days&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;You were in a war situation? Wot &lsquo;days&rsquo; are you referring to?&rdquo;
&ldquo;I was in Kwait men, Kwait, dis is 1989-90&hellip; men&hellip; my company had sent me on a posting&hellip; I tought toh I would make some money for my family&hellip; I had been dere for one year&hellip; we heard on de radio dat dere were some tensions&hellip; and den dat Iraq invaded men, uffff&hellip; bleddy it was bloodshed on de streets men, I was stuck&hellip; how to get bak to Mumbai, I tought I was finished!&rdquo;
&ldquo;How did you return safely?&rdquo; I asked frightened for my friend, but secretly fascinated.
&ldquo;You saw dat movie, &lsquo;Airlift&rsquo; wid dat chappie who&rsquo;s in every blinking ad, Akshay Kumar, he plays dat businessman, who flew all de Indians out of Kwait?&rdquo;
&ldquo;Yes, I remember seeing the film&rdquo;
&ldquo;I was on dat plane men, dat businessman, got me out of Kwait&hellip; uff men, it was a close shave&hellip; socko tension!&rdquo;
Lobo Lobo took a deep breath, as I could see the terrible memories flash before his eyes.
&ldquo;Anyway forget it! I&rsquo;m alive, na? But you see Dikuna men, I am protesting against dose Rooskies in my own way, understand&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Okay, that&rsquo;s quite brave of you, Lobo Lobo&hellip; what&rsquo;s the plan?&rdquo;
&ldquo;From today I will be banning the use of all Russian products in my life&hellip;&rdquo;
&ldquo;Okay&hellip; and what does that include, Lobo Lobo?&rdquo;
&ldquo;No more Vodka&hellip; got it, Dikuna men, no more vodka!&rdquo; Lobo Lobo concluded.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com
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There were fumes emanating out of my cable TV guy’s ears. However, I sensed there was something deeper that seemed to be troubling Lobo Lobo

Lobo Lobo and the art of war

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Lobo Lobo and the art of war

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