This report and others highlight that dowry still exists and it is not just in rural pockets but in urban spaces, too, where people pretend to be equal, highly educated and aware
Nikki Bhati (left) was set allegedly ablaze by husband Vipin Bhati (right), and her in-laws. File pic
The Nikki Bhati dowry death case, which sparked anger and outrage, showed us clearly that the dowry malaise is not over. This Sunday, the paper ran a front-page report on how dowry demands and harassment continue to plague women, with some being murdered, others dying by suicide and yet others dying a slow death every single day of their lives.
This report and others highlight that dowry still exists and it is not just in rural pockets but in urban spaces, too, where people pretend to be equal, highly educated and aware.
Those dowry demands can be couched in subtle ways. Traditional dowry demands have given way to others, like asking for expensive gizmos and gadgets such as high-end laptops and flagship smartphones. Luxury cars may also be asked for. Sometimes, things escalate from small, relatively inexpensive items to pricier ones. At times, occasions or celebrations of any kind become convenient opportunities to harangue the wife, citing shame if such and such a thing is not given. In fact, threats, shame and humiliation is a big part of the dowry package. This may force families to acquiesce to demands.
The first thing to do is to recognise red flags. The second is to see through demands couched in different garb. The third is to be unafraid to call them out and break off a proposed engagement, wedding. Recognise abuse at any stage of a relationship and tackle it.
Parents and families need to be supportive. Women find support groups. Report abuse to the police as this can spiral dangerously. Never cave in, as this is a pattern and is unlikely to stop. We need the harshest possible laws to combat dowry. With a salute to all those who fought back.
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