While the speculation over the reason behind Viveka Babajee's suicide continues, all her friends and colleagues all in agreement about one thing ufffd that she showed no signs of depression. They chose different words but said pretty much the same thing: She seemed positive, jovial and didn't show any signs of a person going through a crisis. One might argue that happy people don't kill themselves. Maybe she wasn't happy but chose to wear the 'all is well' mask. Or maybe all was well. It's possible that she was just having a particularly bad day, and that pushed her to end her life.

We all go through phases when life seems unbearably hard. Moments, when we question the meaning of it all, and wonder why one must continue to go on. A point in time, when we feel alone despite having the love and support of family and friends. Any normal, well-adjusted person can be driven to suicide in a weak moment on a exceptionally trying day. Most days we just trudge on. We cry, complain, crib and then put on a brave face.

Then one fine day, someone somewhere cannot summon the will to struggle, and just gives up.u00a0

It could happen to me. It could happen to you. All it takes is a moment of weakness and desolation. Few years ago, I read a cheeky article in Maxim about top five methods of suicide. It said that most adults contemplate ending their lives at some point. An accompanying poll talked about how over-dosing on sleeping pills was the number one method, and self-immolation was at the bottom of the list. Some of the other choices included slitting wrists, hanging, jumping from a height, consuming poison and drowning. The night I read the article, I asked a bunch of friends over the dinner table about their favourite way to go. When it was my turn, I said, "I will have lots of sleeping pills, then lay in a bath tub and slit my wrists." Their reaction? They teased me about being a cleanliness freak and choosing to make a bloody mess in the tub. Morbid, I know, that I have thought about this.

Iam highly suicidal. When I told a colleague this yesterday, while discussing this column near the coffee machine, she said, "Me too."u00a0 If you did a quick poll in our workplace, they'd place us as the happiest girls in the organisation. That's the whole point. Just a bad mood, bad day, bad moment. Viveka had so much going for her. She was a stunning woman, with a loving family, a successful career. So she had one (or more) bad relationship. The fashion world is full of models with failed relationships and marriages. Ultimately it's the way you deal with the shit life throws at you.

Why blame a man or a job?