In his new book, Matthew Raggett, headmaster of Doon School, describes how parents can be instrumental in raising a new generation of learners
Parenting, in the 21st century, can be tricky business — as parents, you want your children to receive a good, holistic education that prepares them to succeed in an increasingly competitive world, to be well-adjusted in their social and professional spheres, and to grow into well-rounded adults with a nuanced and empathetic worldview. Above all, you want them to be happy. According to Matthew Raggett, the current headmaster of the renowned Doon School, many parents find themselves struggling to keep up with these overwhelming demands.
"In India, especially, there is a lot of drive for children to succeed, much of which comes from parents rather than the children themselves. Many parents will worry themselves sick about getting their children to the right school and giving them every opportunity, not realising all the while that they, as parents, can shape their children's minds far more than any school can," he says.
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Matthew Raggett
"They become so consumed with giving their children the best that they often neglect to give them valuable experiences during their formative years — the latter is far more important in equipping children to succeed in the real world," he adds.
In his new book, How Your Child Can Win In Life (Juggernaut), Raggett enlists a few pillars he believes are crucial in ascertaining a child's future success. Namely, "to be curious, well-informed and articulate, and to be able to think clearly and express themselves". Many parents believe that it is the job of the school to equip children with these crucial skills, he adds, not realising that their learning will truly assimilate when this learning continues at home, too. We bring you some of the key findings from the book.
Reading
A child that reads eventually grows into an adult who thinks, Raggett explains in the book, writing, "If you want your child to get ahead in life, to develop their own ideas and benefit from the collective knowledge of centuries then there is one unbreakable rule: you must help them become readers." To raise readers, parents must take the lead and first, reignite their own love for reading, which they can then share with their children. "As soon as your child is able to sit up in your lap and focus on something that you hold in front of them, you should be reading to them," he writes, also pointing out that this habit doesn't necessarily have to be in the English language; reading in your mother tongue is going to have the same developmental effect.
While many parents get out of the practice of reading to their children as soon as the child is able to read for him/herself, Raggett recommends that they continue this practice all the way through primary and secondary school. "You cannot be sure of what children are silently reading to themselves, and they still have a great deal to learn from you," he cautions. "As your kids get older, you should share what you read in the newspapers, magazines and journals with them. This will enable them to develop an interconnected world view and a global-mindedness in which they can place themselves not at the centre, but as part of something that depends on many others. Helping them understand the complexity of the world, even if we do not entirely understand the history and context ourselves, is helpful."
Speaking
Listening to their parents share their ideas, to the differing perspectives of others and engaging in conversation helps children form an analytical mind, Raggett writes. He continues, "We can help our children to be articulate by making sure that our conversations with them are poignant. Encourage your children to put their opinions to the test. If they tell you that such and such is true, or that this or that happened, follow up with a question about the source of that information or opinion and see how far they can go before they reach their foundation.
When they share their views with you, get into the habit of asking them why they think that, what has made them think that or what evidence they're relying on. Present them with an example that might require them to think differently or, better still, ask them to come up with a counter example that will require them to think more." Parents also play a crucial role in creating an environment in which children are able to share themselves without fear of judgement or ridicule, he adds.
Writing
"Writing is an act of reflection and that, in itself, causes one to think. I know that if I ask my students to write a summary of a lesson, those who are able to do it, will also be the ones to do well when we assess them at the end of the year," he writes, adding that "Evidence from studies shows that students who practise writing, develop skills of analysis and inference that remain undeveloped in students who read and make notes by highlighting and underlining text."
However, he also cautions against pushing your child to begin writing earlier than s/he is prepared to. "If your preschool or primary school child would rather play than write, then it is still too early," he advises. Get them started with coloured pens and pencils on large sheets of paper, on which they can play with shapes and symbols, followed with letters of the alphabet. You can then move on to playing word and writing games. As your child grows older, get into the practice of maintaining a log or a journal that both of you can swap and read through at the end of the week.
Playing
While most parents associate play with organised sports, Raggett describes play as "something children do naturally and experimentally from an early age. Playing is about pretending, trying things out and making mistakes without having to lose anything. It is intrinsically motivated and the low stakes (there are no marks, grades or prizes involved in play) make it a remarkable learning opportunity for children." He advises parents to act as skilled facilitators who manage play, rather than simply allowing children to determine their own games.
This, he says, can ensure that every day is different and builds on the previous. "As parents, you can share your own participation in sports, trekking or climbing with your children," he says, adding, "You can also develop some of the same qualities by giving responsibility to your children. Sending your child on errands can be as adventurous as a summer school of rafting. Involving them in going to places and talking to people that are new but close to the familiar can be both scary and liberating
for children."
1935
The year the boarding school was founded
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