How chucking incident took a personal toll on Oz pacer Ian Meckiff

The Personal TollFor a person who played cricket for the sheer love of the game the violence of the throwing attacks leveled at me after my success against the Englishmen 195859 came as a shock that was too serious to laugh offAustraliarsquos Ian Meckiff bowls to Clement Arthur Milton during Englands second innings in the third Test at Sydney January 12 1959 PicsGetty ImagesTo pick up a paper after every game of cricket I played and suddenly find myself the centre of a furious debate between countries on both side of the world imposed a big strain on my family and me Throughout the whole controversy I tried to appear outwardly calm and relaxed but I was far from itIan Meckiff of the 196061 Australian team left with Australian hero Adam Gilchrist at the Brisbane Convention Centre in Brisbane They were in Brisbane as part of the 40th anniversary celebrations of the Tied Test during the 196061 West Indies cricket tour of AustraliaHow could I be unaffected by something that had virtually changed my whole life From a player who received only the average daybyday publicity of a Test or national cricketer I was rocketed overnight into somebody whose practically every move made headlines even in club games I was now big news and few people could have had so many cameras aimed at themUmpire Colin Egar who noballed Ian Meckiff four times in the first Test against South Africa at BrisbaneNo longer could I go out and play cricket for the sheer enjoyment of it Now every time I bowled I was conscious that everybody was watching me waiting for me to make the slightest mistake It was like being thrown into the sea when you are unable to swimThrown Out by Ian lsquoChuckerrsquo Meckiff as told to Ian McDonald Published by Stanley Paul in 1961Does Ian really throwDuring the whole throwing campaign I was unable to defend myself by answering my accusers because of my lsquono commentrsquo contract with the Australian Board of Control Believe me it is an annoying position to be in when you see ridiculous statements written about you and you canrsquot reply to themNot only did this take a toll on me it had a disturbing effect on my family My mother and father were pestered by people asking them lsquoDoes Ian really throwrsquo and my wife Lorraine was continually upset by embarrassing situations We even found that little kids nicknamed my young son Wayne lsquoChuckerrsquoThe strain finally told on me and I had to seek medical advice My nerves had become frail and I was frankly sick and tired of the whole affair In fact I reached a stage where I had a serious discussion with my wife about giving the game away But I had too many people supporting me and I felt if I stop playing I would be virtually admitting defeatThis was the last thing I wanted to do because I knew I did not throw and I was desperately keen to prove this to my critics The doctor told me that the worry and the tension I was under every time I bowled was affecting my nerve system in my stomach and I have been under treatment for five monthsHe also attributed most of the injuries which were starting to become far too constant to the tension I had built up in me These injuries made matters worse for me and gave me the added strain of worrying about lifting my form in my attempt to get to EnglandItrsquos all very well to say take no notice of it and dismiss it with a laugh and a shrug of the shoulders That is easy to do outwardly but at the same time yoursquore churning yourself up insideI tried many ways to stop worrying about the attacks I gave up reading newspapers altogether for a while but that made little difference because someone would sooner or later mention some new outburst that had been writtenThen I tried reading the reports like comic strips but I couldnt find them funny enough to laugh at Except for some of the sheer ridiculousness and complete lack of factual interpretation that appeared in some articlesFrustratingThe frustrating thing was that I had no way of fighting back All I could do when I was asked if I did throw was to shake my head and say noIrsquod need an adding machine to work out how many times people asked me this question people I didnt even know and often people who didnt even follow cricket Theyd recognise me from photographs and ask me for the fun of itIt didnt matter where I went people whom I came in contact with in my job as a traveller for a hardware firm playing golf when I walked into a club or an hotel or even just walking along the streetIt sounds fantastic but it is true At the height of the controversy it became so bad that I often shunned public places It wasnt that people were accusing me of throwing they just wanted to ask me if the reports were true what I think of my actionsThen there were always the know alls The ones who would come up and give me advice on how to swing my arm over even although the majority of them had never played cricket in their lives The whole thing built up to such an extent that regardless of whether people believed I threw or not they were calling me chucker MeckiffEven some of my close friends lapsed into nicknaming me Chucker They did it in jest but it caught on to such an extent that the tag now sticks although it no longer worries me I now quite expect to be called Chucker Meckiff for the rest of my lifeThe little things that stickThere are little things that stick in my mind My wife and Australian opener Colin McDonaldrsquos wife Lois were sitting in the stand at the MCG one day when I came on to bowlThere were two English women sitting directly behind them and one of them immediately started to gurgle that one of the English cricket writers had been at her place for dinner the previous evening and told her that there wasnrsquot a doubt in the world that Ian Meckiff threwEvery time I ran down to bowl she exclaimed lsquoSee he throws doesnt hersquo Apart from the fact that she probably didnrsquot know the difference the steady stream of chiding every time I bowled worked my wife up to boiling point And she finally turned and let the lsquocriticrsquo know in no uncertain manner that I didnrsquot throwOne day I was giving some schoolboys a few hints and decided to bowl up a few slow balls for the fun of it As I rolled my arm over to deliver a lollipop a frecklefaced kid fielding nearby screamed out lsquoNo ballrsquo I was walking through a park after visiting a friend in Melbournersquos Alfred Hospital one day when I noticed a group of kids playing cricket with a tennis ballIm sure they didnt know who I was in fact I doubt if they noticed me but when I got within hearing distance a little bloke who was about knee high to a grasshopper yelled out at the top of his voice ldquoLook out here comes Meckiffrdquo With this warning he charged down to the box they were using as a wicket and threw the ball head high at the little chap at the other end