A gay wedding photographer has made a film about her struggles, layered with the hope of finding the one
Monisha Ajgaonkar
During the lockdown, when photographer Monisha Ajgaonkar learnt about Rode Reel, the world’s largest short film competition, she discussed it with her colleagues Raunaq Sahni and Chandrashekhar Parab. Their suggestion was, ‘Monisha, we should do this one on your life,” she laughs. She knew that her life had enough material to merit a film. An eminent wedding film photographer and active member of the LGBTQiA+ community, the 33-year-old has been vocal about her life choices.
Monisha Ajgaonkar during a video call with her estranged father during the filming
Majha Pann Lagna Hoil (I Will Also Get Married) is a short documentary that captures Ajgaonkar’s mental health struggles, coping with her mother’s suicide, coming out as lesbian and being disowned by her father. Much like every girl’s cliched fantasy, she had pictured a beautiful wedding with her family around. But identifying as a queer Indian girl came with its own challenges. “Being a wedding photographer reminds me of this every day. But the story isn’t about glorifying my struggles, it is about every other girl who doesn’t encounter the warmth and adoration of her family, for every girl who had to move out and hustle at a young age,” she says.
The film has received recognition at the Independent Short Films Award in Los Angeles, the Berlin Flash Film Festival and Prague International Monthly Film Festival 2020.
Edited excerpts from the interview.
You were initially sceptical about the project?
Yes. I would not like to be identified as a “bechari”. I needed individuals to empathise, not sympathise. I wanted it to be a ground-breaking short film for individuals who are experiencing something similar in their lives.
How difficult was it to lay bare personal aspects for the screen?
It was harder than I thought. It wasn’t easy to revisit old memories and reopen wounds that remain unhealed. To hear my dad say, giving birth to me was his worst mistake, still hurts. I pull myself back up and remember how far I have come. I hope this gives courage to those who watch it.
What about your life? Do viewers identify with it?
I didn’t have it easy. I bought my first camera with my own earnings. I agree that my family is well off, yet not the slightest bit have I received monetary help. Food was my closest companion in school. Being a fat kid felt lonely. Earlier, I despised looking at myself. I had no self-confidence and no friends. I am certain a lot of individuals will empathise with this.
What do you think makes you resilient?
I think when you are left with no choice but to aspire, it makes you exceptionally self-sufficient. I’ve seen people I love walk away from me.
I am very selective about who has access to my energy.
I am way stronger, confident and happier at this point.
I also strongly believe that God hands over some of the toughest battles to his strongest warriors.
When: Majha Pann Lagna Hoil
Where: YouTube
Free
Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!
