Am I being too paranoid? Is there any other way we can try and resolve these problems
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My husband and I recently had an argument and ended up separating for a week or two. We got back after this incident, and now use it whenever we have disagreements. He thinks it’s a great way to diffuse a situation, but I am not so sure because we now spend a lot of time apart whenever we fight, and it feels as if we are just brushing all these incidents under the carpet instead of genuinely trying to fix our issues. We have been married for four years, and I don’t like the idea of us spending so much time apart because if we like it so much, there may come a time when we are just okay with the idea of ending this marriage. Am I being too paranoid? Is there any other way we can try and resolve these problems?
Your fears are not unfounded. Time off can be a healthy thing now and again and allow you both to recalibrate and come back to your relationship with new perspectives. However, if this is happening more often than would like it to, you have to point it out and ask your husband if he feels the same way. Escaping from a difficult conversation can seem like a safe thing to do, but unresolved issues start to pile up after a point and can lead to more serious breaks in your relationship. I suggest you refrain from separating the next time you have an argument and insist on trying to work it out instead. Tell him why it’s bothering you, what your fears are, and why you believe you should both try a little harder.
How can I trust someone who has been in multiple relationships when he says he has feelings for me?
You can get to know him a little better, assuming you want to, and then arrive at an informed decision. The cliché about actions speaking louder than words usually does help.
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