Did I waste three years on him?

I was in a relationship with a guy for 3-and-a-half years and ended it just last week. I was patient with him for a long time because I assumed it was his nature—his habit of not giving me any importance or priority in front of his friends. Whenever we went out, he would check with his friends and colleagues first. I was the option only if they had no plans. I was there for him when no one was, and when he lost his job. Recently, when things got better for him, I expected him to have more time for me, but he spent evenings with an old friend, another girl. Whenever I asked if we could go out to dinner, he would already have other plans. I was hurt and felt ignored, so I called it off. I tried to explain why I was angry, but he hasn’t even called to check on me. I keep asking myself if it was worth spending my time and energy on him when he doesn’t even bother. His actions don’t match his words. I write for your opinion on whether I have done the right thing.
Waiting over three years for someone to improve is a bad sign. Everything you describe points to a lack of respect, and the fact that you have been taken for granted. It’s okay to worry about the time you have wasted on this person, but it’s also a positive thing to acknowledge that you have learned a few lessons and have done what it takes to respect yourself. If he hasn’t changed in all this time, you have made a sensible decision by choosing to end this relationship. Also, someone who doesn’t bother checking on a partner they have spent years with, is not someone worth wasting time over. You deserve better, and I hope you find someone who treats you with the attention and respect you give in return. It’s what separates healthy relationships from toxic ones.

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