Don’t want her kids coming over...

I need help. Before we were married, my wife had two daughters with her divorced husband. They are 14 and 10 and stay with her ex. We had mutually decided that she could go and meet them whenever she wanted to. Her ex remarried, too, and my wife and I now have a 2-year old son. The problem is my wife has begun calling the children to stay for 10-15 days every two months, which prevents me from focusing on my family. I am not a bad person, but this is what I feel. I believe the past should not be involved with the present. Her children are badly behaved and make us spend a lot of money on them, which my wife doesn’t see. She is a good wife and takes care of my child and house. I love her but this is causing a rift between us. I tried to live with this but can’t anymore because I need privacy with my family. I have tried speaking to her about it, but she thinks I am a bad person. My extended family don’t know about this as they will not like it at all. What I want are fewer visits. My wife needs to understand that this is her family now. Please guide me.
This isn’t a problem that is going to magically go away. There are multiple people involved, and neither of them will necessarily see things from your point of view. Your wife may understandably feel pulled in different directions because these are her children too. If you feel as if this is damaging your relationship with her, you should consider bringing in a professional who can help you both navigate this. A marriage counsellor can help you both explain what your needs and expectations are and prevent this from turning into a resentful situation. Assuming your wife wants to save this marriage, while continuing to care about her daughters, she shouldn’t have a problem with you asking a professional for advice.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com