Dr Love with Mid-Day: Worried because he is a divorcee...

I am attracted to someone who was married at an early age and got divorced when he was just 27. Is this a red flag? Is there something drastically wrong that I am not noticing because I am too naïve? I want to be with him but can’t commit because I am worried about making a mistake. I am turning 30 this year and don’t want to be in a relationship that fails a few years from now just because I was too much in love to notice any potential issues. How do I know I am not making a mistake by agreeing to a relationship?
All relationships come with the possibility of success or failure because there are two individual identities involved. A divorce is not a sign of failure anymore than a successful relationship means a person is well-adjusted. The only way you can be sure about whether this can work is by putting in time to get to know this person better. Red flags appear when you understand a person and start to gauge how they behave over time. To write off the possibility of a relationship based on one that didn’t work is to do yourself as well as this person a disservice. Use your own mind and judgement based on facts that appear before you, not on a past relationship you have no insights into.

I’m married but I can’t stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend. How do I get her out of my mind?
Ask yourself why this is happening and what it means about your current relationship. Is there something specific you think about, with regards to your ex? Are there issues in your marriage that aren’t being acknowledged or addressed? Be honest with yourself and open up about what is or isn’t working, because thinking about the past is often a distraction from something going wrong in the present. Also think about why your relationship with your ex didn’t work, and why you chose to marry the person you are with.