He didn’t tell me about her...

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of two years said he wanted to end our relationship. I was shocked because he had given no indication of anything being wrong, and he refused to say what the problem was. All he kept saying was that we had done everything we could to prolong this, and that it wasn’t working out for him. I finally agreed, even though I was heartbroken, and we stopped speaking the day after that conversation. A few days ago, I found out from a friend that he had been dating someone for the past few months, which suddenly explained why he wanted to end this. I am now extremely angry because he didn’t have the courtesy to be honest with me. I am thinking of reaching out to this woman he is with and telling her what happened. Is this a petty thing to do? Will it hurt me more than help me heal?
Your anger and heartbreak are justified, but you should think about what you hope to accomplish by reaching out to this person who may or may not know of your existence. Telling her that your boyfriend was effectively lying to two women at the same time may give you some satisfaction, albeit temporarily, but doesn’t really change the fact that your relationship ended for a very good reason. You are free of someone who didn’t love or respect you, and who didn’t have the courage to be honest with you. The sooner you put him behind you and move on, the better it will be for you and your future. If you still want to go ahead and have this conversation, it may make sense to wait a few weeks until you have processed this. Doing things in anger is never a sensible approach. As for healing, that will come with time and distance. Accepting what happened and then taking steps to not give him attention, may go a long way towards making the process easier. 

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