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He forces me to be social...

Updated on: 22 August,2023 12:14 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

I tried explaining this to him and he says I should try harder instead of giving up on our relationship. What should I do?

He forces me to be social...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have a condition that prevents me from being too social. My boyfriend knows this, but he keeps trying to get me to go out and meet more people on most weekends. I resist as much as I can but often give in because he is an extrovert. I don’t know if this relationship is going to work because I don’t think I can keep doing this. I love him very much but if he doesn’t understand what this puts me through, I don’t think it’s worth the effort. I tried explaining this to him and he says I should try harder instead of giving up on our relationship. What should I do?
You should put yourself and your mental health first because a partner who genuinely cares about you will never force you into something you aren’t comfortable with. I suggest you tell him why this isn’t going to work out, and if his response continues to put the onus on you, instead of him adjusting his expectations, the sooner you get out of this, the better. Relationships always demand a certain degree of compromise from both partners, but there are boundaries one must draw for oneself, and it feels as if you have crossed those already. Make a decision based upon what is good for your well-being, above everything else.

How do I convince my parents that the guy I am dating is a nice person? They seem to have this bias because no one I date is ever good enough for them. I can’t keep trying to meet their unreasonable ideas of what a perfect boyfriend is like.
You should tell them this and concentrate on what makes you happy because you are the one in this relationship. Your parents will always have your best interests at heart, and they may mean well, but you shouldn’t have to worry about what they want if the person you’re with feels right. Until they understand this, why not get them to spend more time with your boyfriend?


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