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He puts too little into this relationship

Updated on: 23 December,2021 07:20 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

Why assume this is about trust? If she wants you to get to know them better, and vice versa, how is that a bad thing? Why jump to conclusions so quickly

He puts too little into this relationship

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been trying to cope with a relationship that is increasingly toxic, and it is taking a toll on me. I want it to work because I am in love with my boyfriend, but he isn’t prepared to put in as much time or energy into it as I am. He loves me and I know we have a future together because we speak of it often, but I sometimes wonder if I will spend the rest of my life pulling the weight for two people because he can’t be bothered about what happens. My friends think I should end this soon because it is affecting my work and my life, but I don’t want to regret not trying to make it work a few years later. What should I do?
You can listen to your friends and take an objective view of what this is costing you. Being in love is great, as is being assured of a future, but a healthy relationship involves two people who want it to work, not one person doing the other one’s share. To profess love for someone is not the same as showing it. Words are empty after a point, and not working hard enough is also a sign of disrespect because it implies that one’s partner is being taken for granted. There may come a time when this will change you as a person, and not in a good way. It makes sense to be a little more honest and look at what you are getting in exchange for what you are putting in. I suggest you make a decision based upon how much you respect yourself.

My girlfriend wants me to meet her parents whenever we go on a date, and I don’t know if this is because they don’t trust me. What should I do?
Why assume this is about trust? If she wants you to get to know them better, and vice versa, how is that a bad thing? Why jump to conclusions so quickly?


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