Parenting isn’t an individual choice; it involves both partners and the support of an extended family whenever possible. Your husband and his parents may have valid reasons for their belief in a large family, but you are more than entitled to your perspective given that you are the one actually giving birth
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been married for two years and my husband believes we should start planning a family soon. The thing is, we are still in our mid-twenties, and I don’t feel the need to rush into becoming a parent at this point. I am also unsure about how many children we should have because I think having one child is more sensible in today’s day and age, given the cost of living. We can offer much more to one child than to more than one, but he believes a larger family is more emotionally fulfilling. We can’t start having this conversation if we both have such different views. He doesn’t really accept my argument and wants me to have a conversation with his parents who, obviously, support him. I am not ready for that discussion because it feels as if I am being backed into a corner and forced into making a decision based on a lot of external pressure. This is causing us to have a lot of arguments. What do I do?
Parenting isn’t an individual choice; it involves both partners and the support of an extended family whenever possible. Your husband and his parents may have valid reasons for their belief in a large family, but you are more than entitled to your perspective given that you are the one actually giving birth. They have no right, or control, over your body. These discussions are inadvertently difficult and resolving them isn’t going to be easy because of how emotional the subject is. I suggest you ask for time, for a start, and consider meeting your husband with his parents to put across your point of view. This cannot be dealt with if there isn’t any dialogue, and you have to point out how an inability to agree is affecting not just your relationship at home, but your future with your in-laws too. Parenting isn’t a decision to be taken lightly, given that it is a lifelong commitment. If you need time, you should have it.
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