He’s sad because we can’t have kids

My husband and I have been struggling with our relationship for the past few years. We have been married for five years and dated for four years before that so we know each other very well and love each other a lot. Our problems stem from our inability to have children, which worries him a lot more than it bothers me. I am okay with our situation and made peace with it a long time ago but, whenever we meet friends who have children, it sends him into a depressive phase and this affects us both for days. We have spoken about adoption, but that isn’t something he is comfortable with because he worries about a child not being able to adjust to us. I don’t know what to do because I worry that this may only get worse as we get older. How do we deal with this?
It’s obvious that you both need some help and better coping mechanisms to handle this. There is nothing wrong with how you both see this, because you have your individual expectations and priorities, but you’re right to worry about the situation getting worse in later years unless things change. There is always the possibility that your husband may start to accept this, too, of course, but that doesn’t address the fundamental issue at hand, which is why I suggest you both speak to a counsellor. The presence or absence of children can change how you see each other, and it is important to acknowledge what your priorities are. Don’t be afraid to talk to a professional.

Should I tell my girlfriend to spend less time with me to avoid becoming too clingy? It feels as if we are always together whenever we have a spare moment.
If you both enjoy each other’s company, that is all that matters. There are no rules on how much time you should spend together.
 
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