I feel like he’ll break up any moment!

I have been dating a guy for a little over seven months and, for some reason, I constantly feel as if he will break up with me and go back to his ex-girlfriend. They were together for over four years and were planning to marry before their relationship ended, and I always sense that he and I are just not as close as he was with his ex. I know he loves me a lot and this is probably just an irrational feeling with no basis in fact, but it’s on my mind a lot and I don’t know how to get a sense of security with him. If I always feel as if this is going to end at some point, I may just stop trying to make it work, and it will be my fault alone. How do I get over this fear and focus on the present instead of his past? I don’t want to lose him.
You have already recognised that you are focusing on his past as opposed to your present and potential future together. There are things none of us can control, and how someone feels about someone else is one of those things. It is only natural that your current relationship will not feel as strong as the one your boyfriend had, given the short period of time you have been together. It’s also natural for you to have your own strong bond in time, provided you allow it to happen. Your boyfriend is with you presumably because he wants to be, so why not give him the benefit of doubt and accept the love he has for you? If he wants to end this, he will, because you have that same prerogative. We often forget to appreciate what we have until it’s too late, which is one of those life lessons that comes to us all. This may not be easy for you but try giving yourself a chance instead of thinking about his ex-girlfriend who isn’t in the picture.

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