My girlfriend has a shoplifting habit!

I have a problem with my girlfriend that she doesn’t accept as a real problem. She shoplifts from stores a lot, and this causes me embarrassment and fear on many occasions. She says it’s a habit she picked up in school because she used to hang out with bad company, but she now does it only because it gives her some kind of thrill. She knows it’s wrong, but also says that the stores don’t mind because their profit margins cover any loss due to theft. This is an argument that makes no sense because I don’t think theft of any sort is okay. She’s a great person, a kind human being, and we love each other a lot, but this one habit is making me consider our future together. Am I overreacting? Should I wait until she gets over this habit? She has been doing it for almost 15 years, which is why I am not hopeful of change. What should I do?
You’re right about theft being wrong. She should also be made aware that theft in some stores requires the shortfall to be made up from workers’ wages, which means that someone always pays the price for her crime, and profit margins mean nothing. Irrespective of what she gets out of this, it also puts you in situations you don’t need to be, because her luck will run out at some point. It’s her life, and she is free to behave as she chooses when you’re not around, but to expect you to come to her rescue or deal with the aftermath of her actions is also unfair. If this continues to bother you, I suggest you give her an ultimatum and explain why this is harming your relationship. If her need for cheap thrills outweighs her need to be with you, the two of you won’t really have a future together. Either way, this needs to be resolved sooner rather than later, because unresolved issues of any kind only lead to resentment going forward.

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