My parents and I don’t get along!

I often wonder if I have a toxic relationship with my parents because of the way we never seem to get along or agree on anything. This has been the way since I finished with college, and I often feel as if they are upset with me for not doing what they asked me to. I didn’t take their advice on what to study or where, because I had clear ideas about what I wanted to do. I have no regrets about my choices, but I feel that they don’t think of me as someone who is on their side anymore, which is sad. We live separate lives, they never ask me how I’m doing or what’s going on in my personal life, and it feels as if they have consciously dissociated themselves from me. I don’t want to apologise to them because I don’t think I have done anything wrong, but I also want to try and fix this before I get married and settle down, so this antagonism or animosity doesn’t carry on into the next generation. How do I do this?
The simplest way to go about trying to fix any relationship is by getting everyone involved to first acknowledge that there is a problem. Your parents may have their reasons for behaving the way they do, but you don’t need to apologise if you don’t feel the need to. Families can be tricky and dysfunctional, and parents don’t always get along with their children no matter how much we want that to be true. If your parents want to fix this as much as you do, they will sit down and talk about it because they are adults and ought to know better. Invite them to dinner, tell them how you feel and why you want to sort out your misunderstandings, and give them time to reconsider their position. If they recognise that this doesn’t have to be a problem, you should all be able to reconnect. Give it time, and don’t give up. 

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