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She is afraid to dump her toxic boyfriend...

Updated on: 19 March,2022 06:20 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

This isn’t about an emoji as much as it is about trust. If an emoji makes her doubt you, the two of you need to work on communication. Ask why she feels the way she does, and if you have given her reasons to.

She is afraid to dump her toxic boyfriend...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

This is about a friend of mine, who has been in a toxic relationship for a while. She refuses to end it because she is afraid of not finding someone she likes, which makes no sense because she’s pretty, successful, and sweet. There will be a hundred guys who will be happy to date her, but her boyfriend has made her feel so insecure that she is constantly anxious about being alone and rejected. I have tried speaking to her about this, and her other friends have told her that this is not good for her, but her fear is stronger than anything we can say. There is no voice of reason she will listen to, though I know she trusts us. She knows we have her best interests at heart but doesn’t seem to have the strength to break away. What can we do?
As friends, you have done what you are supposed to and can only continue to offer support for when or if this relationship ends. If it is toxic, there may come a point where she starts to recognize that, but it has to come from her alone. Repeating yourselves won’t help if she is under the influence of her partner. I suggest you allow her to deal with this on her own terms because it is only by making mistakes that we learn life lessons. She will eventually choose to respect herself and take the risks that need to be taken. Until then, let her know you’re on her side no matter what. It may mean a lot more than you think it does.

How do I convince my girlfriend that I was not flirting with a colleague? I just sent a love emoji because I liked her work.
This isn’t about an emoji as much as it is about trust. If an emoji makes her doubt you, the two of you need to work on communication. Ask why she feels the way she does, and if you have given her reasons to.


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