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Should I start dating again?

Updated on: 22 December,2023 02:12 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

If you like her, nothing stops you from asking her out. If she agrees, you and your friends can stop wondering about hints. If she refuses, you will have your answer

Should I start dating again?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

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I was married for three years until my husband passed away from a sudden illness a year-and-a-half ago. We were married young, so I am only 30. My family believes I should avoid dating anyone or considering another relationship, but my friends think it’s time because they don’t want me to be alone all the time. I don’t mind meeting new people, and think I am ready, but I sometimes worry if it’s too soon. I don’t know if this will lead to any emotional issues or if it will cause some guilt and make me feel as if I haven’t mourned for long enough. What should I do?
You should meet people whenever you feel like it, without worrying about relationships or where those meetings may go. Your family and friends may have recommendations and suggestions, but they aren’t in any position to gauge whether you should date again or not because they aren’t the ones who lost a partner. You can take as much time as you need and choose not to meet anyone for a while if that makes you feel better. I suggest you think of yourself and how you feel though, not what anyone else thinks you should. Moving on from grief is never easy, but there will come a time when you feel as if you have given enough of your life to it and are ready to move on.

My friends think a girl I met at a party wanted me to ask her out. I didn’t get any such message, but they say she was giving me a lot of hints and I just wasn’t taking them. I feel stupid now because she may think I am not interested. I definitely liked her but didn’t say anything at the time. Should I risk asking her out?
If you like her, nothing stops you from asking her out. If she agrees, you and your friends can stop wondering about hints. If she refuses, you will have your answer.
 
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