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Should we move in together?

Updated on: 29 November,2023 09:41 PM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love |

If it doesn’t feel right, nothing stops either of you from changing that situation.

Should we move in together?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I was wondering what the perks of moving in with someone are. My boyfriend has been suggesting it for a few months and I told him I would think of it. We are in our mid-thirties, with successful careers and no plans to marry anytime soon. We have also been together for three years now and are very comfortable with each other. I love the idea, but I also don’t want to do it if it leads to unnecessary friction and causes damage to our relationship. Should I try it out, or ask for more time and decide a year from now?
This is one of those things you will simply have to go ahead and try to figure out if it is an arrangement that works for you both. It seems as if you have a stable relationship, and there are more pros than cons at this point, given how you are both clear about what you want from this relationship. Moving in doesn’t need to have any impact on a relationship if you are both aware of what this means and discuss your expectations beforehand. If you need more time, there is nothing wrong with waiting either, more so because this will make no difference to the way things currently stand between you two. You are both in a good position to take this call whenever you’re ready. If it doesn’t feel right, nothing stops either of you from changing that situation.

This may seem like a strange question, but I like a woman who is much taller than I am, and don’t know how she will react if I tell her how I feel. Do tall women have problems being with someone who is so different from them? I don’t want to embarrass her.
Why not tell her how you feel and allow her to think about this, instead of assuming she will be embarrassed? Some people choose partners based on appearances, but a lot of people prefer being with partners who care about them. 

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