Is she aware of what this is doing to you, or how you believe it is harming your relationship? Start by letting her know
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 39-year old single woman and met a 45-year old man at a party who was recently divorced. We chatted for a bit, and he asked me on a date. We have gone out a few times since then and I think I am starting to like him. He clearly likes me too, and we have begun talking about a relationship. I am open to the idea, but the one thing that bothers me is how he doesn’t say much about his marriage and why it ended. He is evasive and talks about how he and his ex-wife were always incompatible, but never specifically explains what he means or why it failed. I don’t mean to pry because I know this must be difficult for him, but I also think I deserve to know more if I am to get into a relationship with him. Is his attitude a red flag?
If he is struggling to talk about it, it’s possibly because it’s too soon. You are right about needing to know more, but this can’t be rushed either, because it involves a painful part of his life that he may simply not be ready to discuss now or in the near future. If it bothers you, take your time and get to know him better before committing to a relationship, so you can form your own opinions of what he is like without having to rely upon information related to his ex-wife. All relationships are different, and how partners behave with each other changes depending upon who they are. It makes more sense to get a sense of what he’s like based on how he treats you, rather than solely on why his marriage ended.
My girlfriend has a habit of lying about small things, which makes no sense because she doesn’t need to. How do I cure her of this?
Is she aware of what this is doing to you, or how you believe it is harming your relationship? Start by letting her know.
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