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Will I ever have a normal love life?

Updated on: 07 October,2022 07:39 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

Speak to a professional counsellor, talk about what you experience and why certain things trigger you, and allow yourself time to heal

Will I ever have a normal love life?

Illustration/Uday Mohite


I have been single for two years now, after my last relationship ended badly. My ex-boyfriend was very possessive and tried to control every aspect of my life. We were together for four years and everyone, including him, assumed we would marry. I knew I had to get away though, because I would not be able to live with his rules and regulations. Since then, I have struggled to get back to dating, because every guy I meet says or does something that triggers some anxiety in me. If they ask me too much about my personal life, I start to get worried that they are trying to put some restrictions on me. I know I am being unreasonable, but I can’t help it and I am starting to worry that I may never have a normal relationship again. What should I do?
You are underestimating our human capacity to process grief, hurt, or trauma, and embrace the need for love and companionship. You have probably been through all of it because of your ex-boyfriend, and what you are going through is understandable and more normal than you think. It takes us time to process anything that affects us adversely, and you have clearly not reached that stage yet. You deserve love, as well as someone who trusts and respects you, which can only happen when you first have an honest conversation with yourself about what your last relationship was like. Speak to a professional counsellor, talk about what you experience and why certain things trigger you, and allow yourself time to heal. 


My girlfriend got into an argument with me for some trivial reason and wants to break up without giving me an explanation. How do I win her back?
Why not start by apologising and trying to find out why she is upset?



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