Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

Can a 19-year-old fat virgin find love?

Dear Diana,
I am a 19-year-old boy studying in FYBSc. I am overweight and not that good-looking as other boys. My problem is that sometimes I feel my friends don't like me walking with them or hanging around with them. We are a group of 20, consisting of boys and girls. Everyone has a boyfriend or a girlfriend but I am the only virgin. The others always used to take their partners to Marine Drive, but I never went with them. I am not jealous of them, but I feel very bad when I am all alone and they are with their partners, I felt like having a girlfriend, I don't want to have any physical relation with her, but just want her to stand next to me. Will I ever find the love of my life?

Name withheld
Dear ???,
If your weight is affecting your confidence, take care of it. It's in your control. All you have to do is work out for an hour every day and eat sensibly. You can join a local gym if you need professional help. Consult a nutritionist so you know what you should eat and what you shouldn't. If you are dedicated, nothing can stop you from going from fat to fit. It will boost your self-esteem and you can go up to women and talk to them. The people with most friends are not great-looking people but people with confidence. Love yourself, and people will love you. But I must say that if your friends don't want to hang out with you because of the way you look, you need new friends. Unless, of course, you are way off the mark. The way we are and the way people perceive us are sometimes totally different. Ask one of the guys you are closest to, if you are doing anything to put them off. Then again, it might just be in your head. Don't jump to conclusions. Maybe your friends don't really have a problem with the way you look. Sometimes these things are just in a person's head. So sit down and think hard why you feel the way you do. Then take appropriate action.

Stammering is the bane of my life

Dear Diana,
I am a 22-year-old student who stammers. This affects my confidence. I am unable to communicate without being tense. This is also affecting my studies. I am unable to talk to girls because of this problem. Can you recommend a speech therapist? I am desperate and feeling suicidal.

Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Go to a local doctor or hospital and you should be able to get the name of a good speech therapist. Meanwhile try this: Practise reading aloud. Control the speed of speech and maintain a co-ordination between thought and speech. Read slowly from any book. Stretch the first letter of every word. Stop at every fullstop and comma. Inhale and start again. Practise talking in front of a mirror.u00a0 Make eye contact with your image in the mirror and speak on some topic for about five to 10 minutes at normal volume and speed.

I proposed, he disposed

Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old-girl in love with a guy. He had proposed to someone else before but she wasn't interested. She left college and is now married . When I go to talk to him, he gets irritated. A short while later, he got interested in me. Nowadays, he has started avoiding me a lot. What do I do?

Piyali
Dear Piyali,
If a guy is avoiding you, it's pretty clear he is not interested. I think at the time you confessed your feelings for him, he must have been feeling lonely and must have decided to give it a shot. But afterwards, he must have realised that it was probably just a case of a rebound, so he started staying away from you. Don't feel disheartened. Perfectly great people can be all wrong for each other. Just because he isn't interested, doesn't mean you are uninteresting. It's possible that you are not his type. We all have a 'type.' I think you should move on. Don't hound him with calls or go out of your way to talk to him. You'll soon get over him and find someone who loves you too.

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