'Don't let your boyfriend turn into a dictator'
My boyfriend always makes the decisions about where we should go, what movie we should watch and when we should meet. He doesn't take any of my suggestions seriously, even when I ask him to. What do I do in order to speak up for myself?
Q. My boyfriend always makes the decisions about where we should go, what movie we should watch and when we should meet. He doesn't take any of my suggestions seriously, even when I ask him to. What do I do in order to speak up for myself?
A. Your boyfriend sounds a lot like Donald Trump. This is not meant as a compliment. A lot of men seem to believe it is their birth right to take decisions for their partners as well. The kind of rubbish we tend to patronise on television and Bollywood only helps propagate this ridiculous message. It may, therefore, not be entirely your boyfriend's fault. Maybe he simply doesn't believe you are capable of taking your own decisions. What you need to do is figure out what you want first. What do you want your relationship to be like? Are you willing to sacrifice your preferences for someone else's simply because you believe that is what love is about? Your boyfriend needs to understand and acknowledge your suggestions, because that's what people in normal relationships do. If he doesn't get it, maybe you should reconsider why you're with him in the first place.
Q. An interesting guy I have been chatting with over the past six months just told me that he loves me. The weird thing is we have never met in person. Is this normal?
A. This is the sort of question that makes me feel very sorry for people like you. Life is going to be unkind to you, simply because you will let it. You have never met this person, which means you have no way of knowing whether or not he is who he says he is. You don't know what he looks or sounds like, because creating a fake profile online takes little more than a few minutes. There are thousands of men around the world who like nothing more than to tell women they have never met that they love them, so they can con them into parting with money. And you don't know whether or not your 'interesting guy' is one of them. I suggest you log off. And stay logged off.
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