'I can't get out of this affair...'

Dear Diana,
I am a married woman and mother of two. I am attracted to this guy at my work place. My husband is an amazing guy and a wonderful father. But I do not know why I feel drawn to this man. He is also married, but says he is caught in a loveless marriage. I have been giving in to his demands. He always has sex on his mind. I always have guilt feelings that I need to stop being with him. I often feel that he is just using me to satisfy his sexual urges. Sometimes I feel I am a fool and ruining my life with him, but at the same time he makes me feel guilty and smooth talks me to being with him. I have been asking him to let me go, but he refuses to. I still have feelings for my husband and will regret that I had this affair. How do I get out of this relationship? I have tried to do this quite a few times recently. But then he sulks and gets angry and I give in and continue to see him.
— Ziva

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Ziva,
You got yourself into a precarious situation and you alone can help yourself come out of it. You may have been attracted to his guy and his smooth talk. But at the same time, remember all hell will break loose once your husband finds out. In the heat of the moment, you may have gone astray, but you have to be firm and move away from this guy. There is no future with this guy as he is also married. He is caught in an unhappy relationship and it is clear that he is using you to satisfy his sexual urges. You are allowing yourself to fall prey to his advances — the reason why he does not want you to let go. Stop going out with him. Interact with him on a professional level. You need to be strong and learn to say no to him.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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