Creature 3D
U/A; Horror/ Thriller
Director : Vikram Bhatt
Cast: Bipasha Basu, Imran Abbas Naqvi, Bikramjeet Kanwarpal, Deepraj Rana, Mukul Dev, Karan Singh Grover

This film keeps you engaged alright. During its two-hour plus period, it makes you snigger, snort, laugh out loud at the unintentional humour and makes you gasp with disbelief at the absurdity of it all.

The title role is played by a green-eyed monster with a lizard like figure and it seems pretty confused about its personality. Sometimes, it moves at an alarming speed when it has to attack random non-starry people, but when the lead characters happen to be around, it adapts a slow-motion approach, giving enough time for somebody or the other to save them in the nick of time. Sometimes, it barges through the door better than Daya of CID fame, but when Bipasha Basu (playing the bull-headed tragedy queen, Ahana) is inside a room she can keep the deadly beast away by just banging the door on it.

The creature, burdened with a longish ancient name, Brahmarakshas, doesn’t obviously have the finesse or the agility of Hollywood creatures of its kind. The reason for its existence is attributed to, believe it or not, a peepul tree that was axed down. So if you don’t tie a red thread around peepul tree, a Brahmarakshas will go around killing peepul, oops people. Does this make sense to you? The film won’t either.

There is Ahana, who has built a hotel right in the middle of a forest; there is her suitor, writer, winner of something called ‘Best Booker Award’, Kunal (Imran Abbas); there is a professor (Mukul Anand), who has gathered information on Brahmarakshash from the internet; there is an irritatingly sweet honeymooning couple and then there is the creature pitted against all of them. Soon after, Ahana’s hotel’s launch party is underway (production quality poorer than TV soaps), when the creature decides to devour the guests and a little later, the chef too. No one knows what triggered the Brahmarakshas’s ire (bad food, maybe?). Ahana decides to stay on and fight the creature with precisely seven bullets dunked in holy water. (There is a backstory, but let’s not even go there.)

With Ahana and her equally clueless, idiotic compatriots out to hunt the obviously smarter creature, the film stretches to a running time of more than two hours. Thanks to the 3D effect, the swishing tail of the creature jumps at you on many occasions, and so do the loopholes in the plot. Many obvious bloopers in the script and screenplay (by Vikram Bhatt and Sukhmani Sadana) are either overlooked due to laziness or maybe unfortunately, it just didn’t occur to them.

Pakistani actor Imran Abbas Naqvi makes his Bollywood debut with this film. We shall reserve our judgement about his acting ability when we see him in a better movie. And just one question for Bipasha: why, oh why?