U/A; Action Thriller
Director: Sajid Nadiadwala
Cast: Salman Khan, Jacqueline Fernandez, Nawazuddin Shaikh, Randeep Hooda, Mithun Chakraborthy
Welcome to bizarreland. This is where people do what they want and the audience is expected to digest it with open mouthed admiration. This is the kind of ‘masterpiece’ that would put Robinhood to reconsider his charitable intentions. Because as you know, Bhai rocks. It is in this bizarreland that I am imagining a conversation between the celebrated author Chetan Bhagat (who is part of the four team screenplay writers which includes Rajat Arora, Keith Gomes and the debut director of this film, Sajid Nadiadwala) and Bhai meeting for a script narration.
Jacqueline Fernandez and Salman Khan in 'Kick'
CB: Bhai this script is beyond amazing. You are this rocking star….
CB: You can’t hold on to any job because it doesn’t give you any kick…You go around getting drunk with your papa and trying to romance a girl who we will call Dr.Psycho because she eventually falls in love with you bhai, with a 40 year old unemployed alcoholic who puts people’s lives in jeopardy for just a ‘kick’ bhai. She comes up with gems of dialogues like ‘He was a headache and as you know headaches aasani se nahi jaate’ and she coins the word ‘Unjhelable’ bhai. So clever no?
CB: We have a terrific twist bhai. A couple kills themselves because their child is suffering from cancer. Tear-jerking bhai. They have a suicide note which asks anyone who finds it to take care of their child bhai. Such responsible parents na bhai?
Sallu : (Getting emotional) cool.
CB: You are a great being human oops human being bhai. You go around wearing a mask that barely covers your eyes but still nobody can recognise you (giggles). You fool them all bhai. We try to fool everyone as you jump from a terrace you jump into a helicopter on your bike and rob and jump out of the helicopter.
Sallu (getting excited) grunt.
CB: You are also a genius bhai. You work in a lab for four days and you master electromagnetic and jazz bhai and you know how to clone yourself. Like Einstein will not know where to look bhai.
Sallu (getting more excited) Cool.
CB: We will have fantastic actors like Nawazuddin, Mithun Chakraborthy and Randeep Hooda to make this look credible, but we will give them moronic, logic defying roles bhai.
CB: You are such a thinker bhai. It is so wonderful to get valuable inputs from you.
(Disclaimer: This is an imaginary conversation)