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'My boyfriend ruined my friendship with my buddy...'

Dear Diana,
Thanks to my boyfriend, I've lost my best friend for good. He has this habit of making fun of people. He thinks he has a great sense of humour, but doesn't know where to draw the line. Due to his antics, my buddy has stopped talking to me. It's been two weeks now. She's not returning my calls or messages either. He kept on making fun of her and she took offence.
— Samaaya

Illustration/ Amit Bandre
Illustration/ Amit Bandre 

Dear Samaaya,
If she was your best buddy, she should have realised that it is his habit and he does not mean harm. You should have told her about it. She needed to know that he feels he was being funny, but would often rub people the wrong way by going overboard. You should have told her to turn a blind eye to it. She seems to have taken his comments to heart and is upset. If she is your buddy, you need to tell her not to take it to heart. If she is mature enough, she will understand. At the same time, tell your guy to go slow as it is turning people off.

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend broke up with me as I was evading marriage. I was not ready for it because my family was unaware of our relationship. I did not want to disappoint my parents as I knew that she would not be accepted due to our social backgrounds. I was afraid to tell them about my affair. She seemed to be in a hurry and was in no mood to wait. If she loved me why could she not be a bit patient? We were together for four years.
— Jignesh

Dear Jignesh,
Your girlfriend wanted commitment, but you were not ready for it. She felt she could no longer be part of the waiting game. You were leading her on, but did not care to get serious. It was better for her to go her way. Even after going around with her for years, you did not muster courage to inform your family, so she felt you would ultimately dump her.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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