'I am a 34-year-old virgin and I don't mind it'

24 April,2017 07:24 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

This is embarrassing, but I am a 34-year old virgin. It's not as if I have never had an opportunity to have sex, but I have just never felt connected to someone enough o want to do it


This is embarrassing, but I am a 34-year old virgin. It's not as if I have never had an opportunity to have sex, but I have just never felt connected to someone enough o want to do it. I have dated two girls in my life, and they both moved on because they felt I would never have any physical relationship with them. I have spoken to counsellors about this and they say I am perfectly normal and don't display any signs of trauma or emotional detachment that should prevent me from having sex, but I just can't do it. I am not unhappy about this, but my friends think there's something wrong with me, which saddens me. What can I do about this?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex. A number of people now running our country have supposedly been celibate and show only mild signs of retardation. On a serious note though, you shouldn't have it just because your friends believe you should. Sex is a beautiful thing, but is also meant to be special when shared with someone you genuinely care about. Without that connection, it is a mere act of pleasure that is always fleeting. Don't let peer pressure get to you. At some point, you will find yourself with someone you truly care about, and the urge to have a physical relationship will come quite naturally. When that does happen, you will realise that the wait was worth it. Until then, as long as you're happy, why bother about what anyone else has to say about your physical needs?

My boyfriend and I can't agree on going out of town for a short holiday. He says his parents will have a problem, but I don't think he needs to tell them about it. Am I wrong?

If he has an open, honest relationship with his parents, why would you want him to break that? If he doesn't want to lie to them, why make him?

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