He brings my age into every fight

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I am a 33-year old unmarried woman and have been dating a 25-year old guy for six months now. I wanted to date someone younger because my friends said it would be a good idea, but there have been problems from the start. He is moody and we don't communicate the way I would like us to. I don't want to end this relationship for those reasons alone, but he mentions my age whenever we have an argument and that always derails everything because I don't know how to respond to him. Is it impossible for an older person to have a successful relationship with a younger one? I see older men with younger women all the time, so I don't know why this is a problem. What can I do to make this better?

There is no manual on what makes a successful relationship, and nothing that says older men are more successful than older women. It simply boils down to how two people in any relationship work towards making it a success. Maybe you need to evaluate why you are following the advice of your friends instead of simply dating someone because you like them. Why is age a factor? If your boyfriend doesn't communicate, it has nothing to do with the age difference and everything to do with the fact that it may take him some time to open up to you. The situation could easily have been reversed. Being moody has nothing to do with age either because, if it did, all senior citizens would walk around in a state of unchanging happiness. You have to stop trying to allocate feelings to people on the basis of how old they are, and simply treat them as individuals. As for him mentioning your age, why do you need to justify it if it's true? Tell him that you are older, that he has chosen to be with you, and that he is free to end this relationship if he doesn't want to make it work.

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