He is touchy, feely.What do I make of it?

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I have been trying to deal with the advances of a friend and can't make sense of what he wants. We are close and have known each other for years, but he has a habit of touching me often and this sends out mixed signals. I sometimes feel as if he wants me to get into a relationship with him but, when we aren't together, he doesn't communicate. I am embarrassed to ask him about it because, if this is who he is with everyone, it will just be awkward for us both. What should I do?

You haven't discussed your own feelings for this person. Are you considering a relationship with him? Have you thought of the possibility? You don't seem averse to it, and aren't particularly bothered by him touching you, which means he isn't being offensive in any way. If you aren't comfortable with him, or anything he does, you should point it out irrespective of how it will accept that criticism, because friendships that last are the ones based on openness. As for things being awkward, you have to figure out how long you are prepared to go on with this without knowing what his intentions are. There will come a point when you will simply need a definitive answer.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, but he refuses to commit to a more serious situation unless I agree to some of his demands. These demands seem unreasonable to me, which is why I have refused them. I don't want to lose him though, so should I simply swallow my pride and do as he says? I don't know if I will regret doing this later.

If your boyfriend loves and respects you, he should take your objections to his demands seriously. A relationship based on compromises that may lead to resentment at a future date doesn't sound promising. If the two of you want this to work, you will both have to do a bit of giving and taking.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

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