He's in his 40s, but says we're too old for sex

I am 39 and my husband is 45. We used to have sex regularly a few years before we got married, but my husband stopped completely a year after our wedding. He then had a minor heart attack and got an angioplasty with a stent. Since then, he doesn't even kiss me. It will now be 4 years since we last had sex. I have tried everything, but he says he is not ready. He says we have become old and is afraid after the angioplasty. I am also afraid, so I have stopped trying to force him. We are just living together, and I don't know how long our relationship will last like this. I am afraid we will lose interest and love towards each other. We love each other a lot, but I am worried about the future of our marriage.
- Shobha
Shouldn't you both speak to a doctor as well as a sex therapist to find out about potential risks? This is an important aspect of your relationship and you are right to be worried about how things may change between you two. If he isn't interested, and it has nothing to do with his health, this is a problem you should both try and resolve. Given your age, and his, there is absolutely no reason why you should not have a physical relationship. The sooner you have this conversation, the better it will be for you both.

My friends want me to be more loving towards my boyfriend, even though he doesn't say anything. How do I know if I'm not being loving enough? We don't seem to have a problem, and have never even argued about this, so I don't know why they think I should change.
The only people who can answer that question are the two people in a relationship. I suggest you and your boyfriend decide how loving you want each other to be, instead of letting your friends decide.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Catch up on all the latest Mumbai news, crime news, current affairs, and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates