'I caught my wife with her ex...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I got married a year ago. It was an arranged marriage. Before the wedding, my wife-to-be had confessed that she had been in a relationship with a guy four years ago. They drifted apart when he took up a job in the Gulf. She told she thought it was important to tell me as she wanted to come clean before beginning a new life with me. I appreciated her honesty. After our marriage, things were fine till three months ago. She would suddenly disappear for hours and not respond my calls. Thrice a week, she teaches at a private coaching institute, but even on days she was not needed at the institute, she would disappear from home on some pretext or the other. Last week, around 8 pm when I had just got back from work, she received a call. She told me she had to leave to meet a school pal, who was in Mumbai, only for a day. She said she was meeting her at a mall near our home. I knew things were amiss so followed her. To my shock, I found her sitting in a cafe at the mall with this guy. The two looked comfortable and kept laughing and giggling all the while. I went back home and accosted her when she returned. She then told me that her ex had given up his job and was back in Mumbai. All her disappearing acts was to meet this guy. She cried and said that she would not meet him again. But I do not trust her. What do I do?
- Kailash

Dear Kailash,
The trust is broken and things will never be the same again in your marriage. She may tell you she will not meet him, but you will continue to doubt her. Her ex will demand that she spend time with him. She has to cut off ties with her ex and remain faithful to you. You need to tell her exactly how you feel. Either you forgive her or take a decision, especially if you think she will continue to be with her ex. It's a difficult decision - but you will have to make a choice of being with her or not.