05 October,2010 08:23 AM IST | | Dhvani Solani
Ranbir Kapoor is history. At least, as far as Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone is concerned. With liquor baron Vijay Mallya's son Siddharth all set to play knight in shining armour to his damsel in distress, we couldn't resist checking in with the experts to find out if rebound love really hurts
When Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor's relationship took a nosedive, out went her tattoo, and in came a certain Siddharth Mallya. The chubby son of liquor baron, Vijay Mallya, was spotted in VIP cricket enclosures and Page 3 parties in the company of the damsel in distress. While we don't know if Deepika is on the rebound, the actress is not alone in wanting to seek solace in the arms of another man. But is a rebound relationship the best quick-fix for a broken heart?
Deepika Padukone and Siddharth Mallya at Farah Ali Khan's jewellery
show at the India International Jewellery Week in the city. Pic/Satyajit Desai
Ready or not?
"Yes, if you are aware of the consequences, and both partners are fine with not getting too emotionally involved. A rebound relationship can actually help one heal faster by restoring one's confidence and self-esteem," says psychologist Nipa Mehta. "A rebounder fills the gap left by the previous relationship. If you like your new partner, there's even hope that the new relationship can work out."
It is very normal to get into a rebound relationship, and there's no point in beating yourself up over it, says marriage and relationship coach Dr Kamal Khurana. "If you've been holding yourself back from getting involved with someone you've known for a while, because you were previously in a relationship, it's natural to seek intimacy from that person once you are single," he says.
All aboard
Though, it is not always the best idea to get into a relationship with the first person that seems ready and willing. "This is your moment of vulnerability, and even a kind stranger might seem like a knight in shining armour," says
Dr Khurana. "Look at the bigger picture. Introspect on what your weaknesses in the previous relationship were, and whether they can be worked on in the new one."
Dr Khurana adds that it is also important to judge your new partner for who he or she is, as opposed to comparing him to your ex.
"When my boyfriend broke up with me for no apparent reason, I ran into the arms of my male best friend, who always had a soft corner for me," says Ayesha Chowdhury (name changed). "I took almost a year to realise that I was dealing with two boys at one timeu00a0-- my best friend, who was now my boyfriend, and my ex, who was absent, but always on my mind. It was a utter disaster. Even four years after getting out of that relationship, I can't seem to get into a new one."
To avoid falling into the dependency trap, Dr Khurana suggests seeking comfort from friends and family, instead of cutting yourself off from the world. Once you're done crying, introspect on what you might want to do differently in a new relationship, without blaming yourself for the past.
You could be in a rebound relationship if...
You have mixed feelings...
"Do you feel guilty after meeting your new love interest?" asks Dr Khurana. "In a rebound relationship, there is a confusion over whether you want to meet and spend time with the person. Often, there are unresolved feelings that lead to withdrawal."
