28 January,2009 04:33 PM IST | | Bibhu Pattnaik
Men can't always remain friends with our exes - or can they? Instead of trying to work things out people tend to often take the easier route u2013 break things off entirely and find somebody to fill the gap, temporarily. After a few weeks or months, we may realize the long-term solution might not exist, and we come to appreciate what we had in the first place.
Before reaching out to an ex, you must first decide if you genuinely miss her.
Do you want her back because you loved the deep conversation and devoted friendship? Or is it because you pine for the sex, the handy wedding date or the fulfillment of your pride?
The answer, in many cases, is none of the above. Instead, it is usually just old-fashioned jealousy that entices some of us to drop our integrity to try to win her back. It is oftentimes a paradoxical case of low self-esteem and outrageous ego that causes us to try to constrain the "legal? behavior of our former lovers (see: holding hands on the street or making out in a bar with someone else).
In reality, those irrational attempts at control (angry voicemail, email, text messages, etc.) can make you look foolish.
These desperate measures would most likely damage any case you intended to make for getting back together. It may look as if you're trying to show you care but in the end portrays you as a chef without the knife.